Parent of a 6-month-old refuses to hang out with lifelong friend after disagreeing with her parenting methods: ‘I was the one who had to pick up the mess’

Author image for Melissa Knudson
Melissa Knudson • Writer
Oct 8, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Can parenthood lead to a friendship breakup?

Let's face it: parenting is hard. Yes, it can be an adventure filled with magical and wholesome moments, but every single stage of parenting has a different challenge. Newborns are delicate and are just starting to understand the world, which means that parents have to both keep them protected and help them discover new things equally. Toddlers are filled with energy and excitement. At this stage, they start learning how to behave with others and themselves. Parents will have to set clear boundaries here, which is always a learning process. After that come the teenage years, which we don't really have to get too deep on that one, we all know this stage is close to impossible for parents. 

Altogether, the parenting experience can turn overwhelming very quickly. This is especially true for parents who struggle to set limits and consequences and let their little ones run wild. By not correcting them, they are setting them on a road of difficulties and conflicts with others. That's why, no matter how hard it might feel at first, as a parent, it is crucial to teach kids to be considerate towards others and that actions have consequences. 

Raising a kid is not only overwhelming for the parents, but also for everyone around them. When kids misbehave all the time, it becomes increasingly harder to find adult spaces to enjoy with your adult friends. That is exactly what is happening in this story. A couple of lifelong friends are struggling to find common ground as the kid of one of them keeps misbehaving greatly, while their parents fail to correct them. The other friend is starting to feel a little tired of having to be the one to educate their friend's toddler. So much so that the whole conflict is threatening to distance the friendship altogether. What would you do if this were your friend? Some consider that the course of action should start with an honest and heartfelt conversation between them, while others advise not to bother with conversations at all. What do you think would help this situation? Have you ever felt overwhelmed by parenting or other people's kids?

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  • Woman fighting with friend.
    via PR Image Factory

    Woman fighting with friend.

    Model portrayal.

  • WIBTAH if I distance myself from a friend because of her toddler/ parenting

    I have a 6 month old and my best friend of 26 years has a 2 year old. For context my friend is in a relationship with a man who doesn't help out a lot. They got pregnant unexpectedly early in their relationship (not an excuse).
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  • She works full time and still does majority of the parenting. We have been friends almost our whole lives.
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  • When I was a few weeks post partum she brought her son over and he made a huge mess with toys, getting into the dogs water, throwing his head on the floor and banging it repeatedly ect. he was 18 months at the time. I was the one who had to
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • pick up the mess because he was running away from her and making more mess and it was just easier for me to do it and let her leave. Each time since
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • they have been over it's the same thing so I stopped inviting them over here. Well her son is two now and it's the same thing but a lot worse. I
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  • suggest we go to parks or a kid friendly rrestaurant with a playground so her son can run around but she will suggest sit down restraunts or shopping or something like that and her son ends up screaming, hitting, biting ect and we just have to leave and go to the park. In
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  • these situations she doesn't really do any correcting. in fact last hangout she just got overwhelmed and started crying (which broke my heart for her) and all I could do was support her? She actually at
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • one point let him run around a department store and I was the one who had to follow him around all while pushing my own baby.
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • Two happy friends.
    via Via Getty Images ( Via XiFotos )

    Two happy friends.

    Actor performance of story events.

  • So I am aware that toddlers do these things but my friend wants to hangout weekly. I also
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  • work and on my days off I sometimes just want to be alone with my baby and get chores done ect. I know that
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • she seeks my friendship so often because it fills her cup but it's been draining mine.
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • I feel bad also noticing the lack of "parenting" in these situation. We have been friends so long I just didn't expect that from her but know she is just overwhelmed. I feel like a bad
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • Messy kid with paint in his hands.
    via Peopleimages.com - Yuri Arcurs

    Messy kid with paint in his hands.

    Licensed media provided as editorial context.

  • friend because I can't really help her when I am trying to keep my head above water with a new a new baby myself
    via Inevitable_Mind_8389
  • WIBTAH for putting some distance in our friendship?
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  • Woman comforts her crying friend.
    via Via Pexels ( Via Karola G )

    Woman comforts her crying friend. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • Garden_gnome1609 Why can't you just have a conversation with her like an adult? "Look, you can't just let your child run wild and trash places while I try to to do damage control. You have to parent him.
    via Garden_gnome1609
  • Either we go to the park (where you also parent your kid) or you need to figure out how to keep him from being a menace. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to other people and I've got my hands full with my own baby." If she gets. mad, she gets mad.
    via Garden_gnome1609
  • Stock-Mountain-6063 NTA, she's not parenting she's letting the kid do whatever he wants and it's going to become a bigger problem the larger that child gets. I'm sorry if she picked a poor partner to have a child with but that's no excuse for not having boundaries and rules for your child. Eventually that child could
    via Stock-Mountain-6063
  • hurt your child so I would start to back off and if she asks let her know what your fears are. If you are really great friends tell her why you feel this way
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  • MullberryBoy She's neglecting her child. The head banging isn't normal and he needs to be evaluated. Her child isn't your responsibility. Either distance yourself or tell her that you can't keep being responsible for her son's behavior and the messes he makes.
    via MullberryBoy
  • Peachy Keen31 I'm curious what friendships mean to people these days. Why can't you talk to her about this? Why haven't you? She's very clearly struggling. Be honest with her while having compassion.
    via Peachy_Keen31
  • It's ok if you need to step back. But have the conversation first. She needs to parent her child and understand his limits. Maybe go to parenting class together.
    via Peachy_Keen31

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messy children friendship drama woman AITAH kids friends parenting newborns fight between friends new parents wibtah limits
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